The Fuckerrecap #2: October 2022 Weird News in Review

[00:00:00] Hello all you spooky nerds, creepy geniuses, and kindred spirits. Welcome to The Fuckerrecap, a brief rundown of some of the most fucked up or fucking entertaining because levity, things humans got up to last month. This is Kimberly, the neurodivergent weirdo you usually hear competing against Dr. Edward

[00:00:29] Simon in our monthly storytelling competition show presented on this feed. Number 1. Planet Yeezy's Nuclear Implosion Whether you're a fan of hip hop and chasing paper or not, there was no escaping the very public shitshow that was Kanye West's imploding last month.

[00:01:03] The rapper slash producer turned celebrity husband and mogul blew his entire life up for a live audience, devoting approximately three weeks to the demolition after getting riled up at Fashion Week by mega grifter Candace Owens. West's personal sabotage came in the form of unhinged tweets, racist and anti-semitic

[00:01:24] remarks on podcasts, and mocking the companies he has business deals with for not being able to do anything about racist and anti-semitic remarks. Quote, I can say anti-semitic shit and Adidas cannot drop me. Now what?

[00:01:39] Yee bragged on the mediocre show Drink Champs shortly before Adidas did indeed drop West and halt production on his entire line of overpriced Yeezy sneakers. Adidas, for those of you who might not know, is a German-owned company originally funded

[00:01:57] with Nazi money, so Yee's comments being too much for them, I mean, that's saying something. That's special. But West's deal with Adidas was valued at roughly $1.5 billion dollars, and its termination led Forbes magazine to announce West is officially just another average multi-millionaire.

[00:02:19] Later that same week, Yee stormed the corporate offices of fashion-forward sketchers unannounced in what appeared to be an effort to make them buy his stupid shoes, but he was escorted off the premises by security before he could even make a pitch happen.

[00:02:38] Kanye was also dropped by Gap, JP Morgan, Foot Locker, Vogue magazine, creative artist agency TV studio MRC, and the House of Balenciaga in addition to Adidas. He similarly found out that even some of the bigger dickheads in music don't want to be friends anymore.

[00:02:57] Famously misogynistic Trump supporter Ice Cube, who Kanye cites for his awakening into the danger of the Jews, took to social media to write that, quote, I hate that my name was dragged into the Drunk Champs bullshit. Please leave my name out of all the anti-Semitic talk.

[00:03:15] I'm not an anti-Semite. I never have been. Ice Cube did roast music producer Jerry Heller as a, quote, white Jew cracker in his 1991 song No Vaseline, but hey, details, right? It's worth mentioning that while tons of individuals with bipolar disorder and traumatic brain

[00:03:37] injuries don't devote three weeks to aggressively trashing Jewish people in public, Kanye West does have a documented history of struggling with both bipolar disorder and a brain injury sustained in his famous 2002 car crash. We don't mention this to make excuses for Ye.

[00:03:55] Again, plenty of people with mental illness and TBI not only leave Jews alone, but they work meaningfully in advocating for equal rights. But to point out that while Ye fucked this all the way up, he's also a human being who

[00:04:10] some podcasts, media outlets, and online influencers have seemed very happy to exploit for fame, shares, and views. His comments are trash, but so is leveraging a person in the throes of a mental health disaster for press.

[00:04:25] Between the media exploitation, horrible comments themselves, and the way that white nationalists started posting banners on bridges and buildings reading, quote, Ye was right about the Jews. The entire ordeal was one giant human fucking nightmare that we probably won't wake up from

[00:04:44] until Skynet finally turns the internet off for good. Delightful. We're balancing the toxicity of that utter mess with the human decency of number two, which is pregnant woman saves life then gives life. The majority of women spend their childbirth experience contorted in crippling pain and

[00:05:01] doing breathing exercises, but a Maryland firefighter named Megan Warfield made headlines in mid-October for spending her labor rescuing victims of a car crash. The extremely pregnant 30-year-old was riding as a passenger when a multi-car pileup ruined her trip and the days of everyone involved.

[00:05:18] Despite feeling the telltale pressure of labor pains, the firefighter exited her vehicle to direct traffic until first responders could arrive. That's when she says she noticed an overturned sedan with an injured woman trapped inside. Unsure of the severity of the victim's injuries, Warfield ignored her own serious cramping

[00:05:37] and spent the next hour keeping the victim calm and conscious until paramedics finally extracted her. Only then did the pregnant mother head over to Johns Hopkins to say, hey, I think I'm about to drop this baby.

[00:05:49] As it turns out, the jolt of the accident had knocked her child sideways in the womb, which for the record, does not feel great at all. I don't know how I did what I did because the cramping was so bad, Warfield told the Today Show.

[00:06:03] I must have just been running on adrenaline. Badass welcomed her third child, a healthy baby girl, just a few hours later. Good job, Megan. Now back to the bullshit. Number three, influx of nightmare drugs hits New York City. New York City apparently has a cocaine problem.

[00:06:21] In 2020 alone, NYC got buttfucked by 980 cocaine-related deaths. These stats recently made the news as last month it was revealed that a number of those deaths were all related to the same dealer operating a makeshift grub hub-like delivery service except for drugs instead of the grub.

[00:06:43] Allegedly, a man named Billy Ortega is responsible for the coke, selling the powder out of his house in rural New Jersey, of course, and sending text message instructions to a courier that would make the drops. So what was wrong with Billy's shit?

[00:07:00] Well, it was all laced with the deadly synthetic opioid fentanyl. He seemed aware of it as well. After recently and indirectly murdering three New York professionals in the same night, police found text messages that Ortega sent to the victim saying things like,

[00:07:16] Hey, try not to do too much. It's really strong. Followed by a half dozen unanswered phone calls, unanswered presumably because his clients were already dead. Out of those 980 cocaine deaths in 2020, 81% of them were due to deadly amounts of fentanyl.

[00:07:35] Billy Ortega has pled not guilty inexplicably and is currently awaiting trial. Drug hub? Grub drugs. Drug grubs. Drug whatever. So happy I'm turning 40 because being young sounds fucking dangerous. Number four is man serenade surgeons during his own brain surgery.

[00:07:53] Brain surgery is hard enough as it is, but Italian surgeons in Rome had an extra complicated procedure to pull off in October on a 35 year old with a difficult brain tumor stuck in a crappy place.

[00:08:04] If doctors screwed up and cut the wrong area, he'd end up handicapped for life. If doctors did nothing, he'd have died. So the Italian medical team performed what's called an awake brain surgery, which is exactly what it sounds like.

[00:08:17] Their patient, identified only as GZ, was conscious for the entire nine hour procedure and spoke, did memory games, and played saxophone while a team of doctors played operation inside his open skull. This day long event allowed surgeons to make sure they hadn't accidentally turned off the

[00:08:35] man's speech center or motor skills while extracting the dangerous tumor squatting in his skull. Newspapers reported that GZ played the theme from Love Story and the Italian national anthem amongst others during the operation on his sax, but sadly failed to perform even a few

[00:08:52] bars from George Michael's careless whisper. We personally would have gone with a few different song selections, but the good news is the surgery was a success and the young man discharged back in the Italian wild to busk another day.

[00:09:06] Finishing strong at number 5 is a Florida man blaming Florida man's shit on wizardry. It was 4am when police deputies in the Miami area stumbled across the sight and more specifically sounds of a guy driving a car missing not one, but two whole ass tires, which would

[00:09:26] be kind of impressive if it weren't so fucking dangerous. When asked where half his tires went, the driver told police he'd been hit by a supernatural curse cast by a dark entity, causing him to hit a curb a little hard.

[00:09:41] Calling it a do or die situation, the driver elaborated that he had no choice but to flee the paranormal activity by driving home that very second despite the damage to his vehicle. Quote, this is some supernatural shit, he is reported to have said.

[00:09:58] Suspecting run of the mill distilled spirits and not demonic entities, police then asked the 29 year old, alleged hex victim to take a field sobriety test. The driver responded by spitting on both deputies, threatening to bash their heads in with a

[00:10:13] baseball bat and trying to steal one officer's taser while yelling he would skin both of them alive. Unsurprisingly, the driver spent the rest of the night in a drunk tank before being charged with two counts of battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting officers with violence,

[00:10:30] trying to steal that taser and driving under the influence. It is unclear whether he'll plead guilty or cursed. Remember kids, if you're hexed while driving home, always walk, don't drive, to the nearest

[00:10:44] body of natural water, wash that shit curse off or just stroll down to the nearest church for a quick and affordable blessing. Alternatively, just go to bed before the witching hour. Nothing good happens for anyone after 1am. But that's October's Fuckery Cap.

[00:11:01] You can tag us in any fuckery you find noteworthy this month on Instagram at HumanFuckeryPodcast or on Twitter at AtHumanFuckeryPod or by sending us a message via our Patreon at www.patreon.com backslash humanfuckery. Until next month, stay out of trouble and please keep it weird.